The big three – zero, ladies, it’s a big deal. If you’re lucky enough to not have hit this milestone yet I just want to give you a heads up that you could be in for some turbulence.
It was something that I wasn’t prepared for at all. In fact, it threw me off guard in a total whirlwind of emotions (a lot of which I’m still working through). It got me thinking though, do other women go through similar experiences? Or was it just me?
Physical changes that we go through in our 30’s…
Hormones. Your oestrogen and progesterone stars to dip. This can cause a change in your cycle and a change in your shape. You might get heavier and wider or you could even get shorter or taller.
Bone loss begins in your thirties. By your mid thirties your body will be breaking down bone faster than it’s being replaced.
By the time you reach mid thirties it becomes much harder to conceive.
Your metabolism begins to slow down. In other words, weight gain.
We start to get wrinkles. Oh- No!
Hangovers are much worse and you can’t lie in bed until 12 pm anymore. Wake up! You’ve got things to do.
Bladder weakness, especially after you have kids.
Now let’s look at social pressures
You should be married by now. If you’re not married, then there must be something wrong with you (not really but this was a huge sting for me, I started feeling like there was something wrong with me for not being married yet).
You haven’t had kids yet? Guess what your biological clock is tick tock-ing… you better hurry, and if you want more than one, you definitely need to get a move on.
Life gets more stressful. We have career pressures, possibly children to take care of, a home to manage and a wife/ husband. That saying ‘don’t grow up, it’s a trap’ springs to mind.
Debt. Credit cards? Mortgage? Cars? Children? Financially we realise we have made some life long commitments and that stuff is scary.
Emotional changes
You begin to realise that your care free twenties have vanished into thin air your social life has spontaneously combust.
On the flip side you don’t want to end up being 40 and partying every night. Still, those fun memories are firmly in the past, whether you are ready to move on or not.
You have more complicated relationships. You transition into the role of a mother or wife and it’s difficult. You’re tired because you’re juggling multiple commitments.
You start to realise what your mother did for you all those years ago.
You start to resent being a woman. I’m not sure if this applies to everyone, but this is something I have been really frustrated with recently. Mainly I feel like women are expected to do so much. We have so many things to deal with, physically, mentally and emotionally.
You look forward to early nights and enjoy cosy nights in.
We find it harder to change our personalities. So if you’ve got any habits still, they’re probably going to stick with you forever now. *Throws pack of cigarettes in the bin.*
Depression is more likely aged 30 – 40. Even if you haven’t experienced it before.
Over thinking and sleepless nights are just kind of normal now.
Okay, after doing all of this research, I don’t feel so bad for having a midi life crisis now. So what If I’m not married, maybe I just haven’t met the one yet.
As I’ve transitioned into my thirties I’ve decided to leave that feeling, of being faulty at the door and concentrate on my confidence instead.
At 29 I dyed my hair blonde and got a fringe (I never get fringes, they don’t suit me at all). Then I grew the fringe out, quit my job and completely changed my career, then I quit again and started my own business – during the pandemic, which must be one of the craziest times ever to go self employed.
I suppose after all of this I realised that if you’re going to have a midi-life crisis you might as well empower yourself while you’re doing it.
As for conforming to social pressures and thinking there was something wrong with me, well twenty something year old Sophie would have been mortified. Young twenty year old me wasn’t supportive of marriage at all. She’d tell me to “Get a grip, at least you can afford nice booze now.”
“I’m stuck here drinking whatever I can get my hands on, dating men who treat me like an idiot.”
So what makes your 30’s better? Surely it can’t all be depressing…
Well, you don’t drink as much because the hangovers just aren’t worth it. A healthy body and a healthy mind have become my mantra now. I don’t want to wake up looking like death, or worse miss a nights sleep.
You become less neurotic and your personality beings to stabilise (apparently). I’m not sure why this didn’t work on me. Yes you’ve got bad habits, but you don’t care about it anymore, I am what I am. If you don’t like it, there’s the door.
You’re body confident. Worrying about how you look gets buried under more important stuff. Your image insecurities don’t consume you anymore. In fact you quite like who you are.
You know how to dress for your shape and you own a killer (expensive) wardrobe. Bad clothes day? Those are in the past.
You earn more and you’re financially stable. Men? Who needs them. You progress with your career/ business and (hopefully) take time to learn better money habits.
You settle down or you become okay with being single. Either way you’re self assured. You realise how to make yourself happy.
Holidays! More money brings more opportunities for holidays. Sure you might not go backpacking around Thailand on the back of a motor cycle for a few months, but at least now you can afford all inclusive at a five star hotel. Let’s face it, you’re also far less likely to get an STD.
We experience our sexual peak. We get busy and enjoy it. It’s all about us now ladies. We know what we like and what we don’t. We’re not afraid to ask for it.
You know that if a guy likes you they get in touch. It makes dating a bit simpler. You also see through the games and the bullshit. Nice try…
You realise you don’t have to drink to have fun. Exercising is also good fun. Actually self care becomes a hobby and your body becomes a temple. Sugar? No thank you.
Finally, you figure out what makes you happy. You learn to put yourself first and you understand yourself. I used to be so shy and now I have buckets of sass and witty comebacks.
How have you found turning 30? Comment below and share my post if you found it helpful. I think being in my thirties is actually kind of cool once you get used to it.
Soph.
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