This is something that I wasn’t prepared for at all. In fact it threw me off guard in a total whirl wind of emotions. A lot of which I’m still working through. It got me thinking though, do other women go through similar experiences? Hopefully it’s not just me and I haven’t gone completely crazy.
So let’s start with actual physical changes that we go through in our 30s:
Oestrogen and Progesterone stars to dip. This can cause a change in your cycle and a change in your shape. You might get heavier and wider or you could even get shorter or taller.
Bladder weakness, especially if you have kids. Yay.
Bone loss begins in your thirties. By your mid thirties your body will be breaking down bone faster than it’s being replaced.
By the time you reach mid thirties it becomes much harder to conceive.
Your metabolism begins to slow down. In other words, weight gain.
We start to get wrinkles. Oh- No!
Hangovers are much worse and you can’t lie in bed until 12pm anymore. Wake up! You’ve got things to do.
Now let’s look at social pressures:
You should be married by now. If you’re not married, then there must be something wrong with you.
You haven’t had kids yet? Guess what your biological clock is tick tock-ing… you better hurry, and if you want more than one, you definitely need to get a move on.
Life gets more stressful. We have career pressures, children to take care of, a home to manage and possibly a wife/ husband. That saying ‘don’t grow up, it’s a trap’ springs to mind.
Debt. Credit cards? Mortgage? Cars? Children? Financially we realise we have made some life long commitments and that stuff is scary.
You begin to realise that your care free twenties have vanished into thin air and you just shouldn’t be behaving like that anyway.
You don’t want to end up being 40 and partying every night. Still those memories of the times you’ve had are in the past whether you are ready to move on or not.
You have more complicated relationships. You transition into the role of a mother or wife and it’s difficult. You’re tired and juggling multiple commitments. You start to realise what your mother did for you.
You (I) resent being a woman. I’m not sure if this applies to everyone, but this is something I have been really frustrated with recently.
Mainly I feel like women are expected to do so much. We have so many things to deal with, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I’m starting to think that men have it so much easier.
We find it harder to change our personalities. So if you’ve got any habits still, they’re probably going to stick with you forever now. *Throws pack of cigarettes in the bin.*
Depression is more likely aged 30 – 40. Even if you haven’t experienced it before.
So summing all of this up, I don’t feel so bad having a midi life crisis now.
I dyed my hair blonde and got a fringe (I never get fringes, they don’t suit me at all).
I grew the fringe out, quit my job and completely changed my career, then I started my own business, during the pandemic, which must be the craziest times ever to go self employed.
I also drink gin and cry quite a lot about being boring and talk about parties I went to when I was twenty.
Somehow I’m not single. But even that makes me upset. I start thinking to myself why am I not married yet? What’s wrong with me?
Well twenty year old Sophie would be mortified.
Twenty year old Sophie wasn’t supportive of marriage at all. She’d tell me to ‘get a grip, at least you can afford nice booze.
I’m stuck here drinking whatever I can get my hands on dating men who treat me like an idiot.
I’m still trying to figure men’s intentions out, and how to cope with my insecurities.
I don’t know how I’m going to pay the rent this month because I blew it all partying. Enjoy your nice home and supportive partner’.
So what makes your 30s better? Surely it can’t all be depressing.
You don’t drink as much because the hangovers just aren’t worth it. Healthy body, healthy mind.
You become less neurotic and your personality beings to stabilise (apparently). Yes you’ve got bad habits, but you don’t care about it anymore. I am what I am.
You’re body confident. Worrying about how you look gets buried under more important stuff. Your image doesn’t consume you.
You know how to dress and you own a killer wardrobe. Bad clothes day? Those are in the past.
You progress with your career. You start to become finically stable and (hopefully) take time to learn better money habits.
You settle down or you become OK with being single. Either way you’re self assured. You realise how to make yourself happy.
You get to travel more. More money means more opportunities for holidays. Sure you might not go back packing around Thailand on the back of a motor cycle for months but now you can afford all inclusive at a five star hotel and are less likely to get an STD.
We experience our sexual peak. We get busy and enjoy it. It’s all about us now ladies. We know what we like and what we don’t. We’re not afraid to ask for it.
You know that if a guy likes you they get in touch. It makes dating a bit simpler.
You realise you don’t have to drink to have fun. Exercising becomes good fun. Your body becomes a temple. Sugar? No thank you.
How have you found Turing 30? I think it’s actually kind of cool when you get used to it.