A Cold Walk on the Beach and some thoughts on Motherhood and Working

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Yesterday I went for a walk on the beach with my partner Michael and my daughter, Zowie. My Partner has the week off work, which never happens. He’s a work-a-holic for sure. So was I, but I’ve relaxed a bit since I had my baby girl.

I think that’s why we make such a good team, although recently It’s been a bit difficult between us. I think 2020 has taken it’s toll. We’ve been through a lot of anxiety and stress. As has the rest of the world.

Financially our income has halved since I started blogging. We’ve had arguments about it. I think Michael thinks I’m a bit mad for doing it. I don’t blame him, but I just know that this is only for the short term. Everything I put my mind to I work hard at it. I am determind to make blogging a success.

It might take me longer than a traditional job but that’s not to say it’s not possible. That’s what we do here on this blog. We believe in ourselves.

I think what appealed to me about blogging, was the idea of staying at home, looking after the kids and being able to fit work around it and also work anywhere in the world.

I can’t say it’s been an easy transition. Like I mentioned before I haven’t had support from my partner or family. I’ve had to do this solo, with almost zero funds, but I just love it so much. I couldn’t imagine going back to a traditional work place.

Part of the reason is due to sexism I’ve faced at work over the years. Another part is frustration. I have always worked in jobs that I was too qualified for because I lacked confidence. I was never given the promotions I deserved. I didn’t believe in myself. But right now at this moment in time, I do.

I’ve also got this overwhelming urge to connect with people and help others. There’s too much negativity in this world, I want to add something positive.

As a mother I’ve always felt this internal inner pull and struggle. When I work I feel like I’m stuck between what is right. On one hand I want to go to work and earn money. I don’t want my partner to feel the stress of being the only one to bring home an income.

On the other hand I feel so awful at work, that I am there concerned with money and I am not there for my children. It’s like a constant tug of war. Whatever I do I seem unable to get the balance right, that is until I found blogging.

I know that the struggle financially will be short lived. Blogging is something you have to commit to. It’s something that will improve in the long run.

Nobody that I know blogs, but here online I have come to find so many wonderful people that do this also. I wonder how many of you are mothers? Let me know in the comments below.

I am so much enjoying being a mother to my children even if it means I am not socially fitting into the mould of what people think is right. A few weeks ago I joined the mamas talk money summit online and I was just blown away by all the inspirational women on their doing talks.

It made me feel strong in my decision even if no else did. I think that’s the thing about confidence you have to be prepared to take the leap of faith, make the jump and face the fall if it comes. Whatever happens, starting this blog was the best decision I’ve made. That’s why I called it Starting Today.

Even if people I know laugh at me, or think I’m crazy, I like what I’m doing here. I like who I am connecting with and for the first time in a very long time I am excited and looking forward to the future. (Whilst being able to be a mother at the same time).

I hope you have an awesome day everyone, remember to believe in yourself. You’re the only person you need to push for your dreams and make them happen.

Peace,

Soph.

Published by Snophlion

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives them must lead.” Charles Bukowski

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