Self Sabotaging, Is it real?

I started a post yesterday on ‘Self Sabotaging’. It’s a term that I hadn’t heard of until recently but the more I read about it the more I realise that I am a self saboteur.

I had my day planned out, I sat down to write something and then somehow I found myself rummaging through a box of old things.

They were like relics of parties from the past. Outfits I had worn, hair pieces and things I had accumulated from friends.

The whole day ended with me getting ridiculously drunk, dancing in my kitchen, having a great time. The opposite of productive and needless to say my hangover this morning was something that felt like it had been spawned by the devil himself…

I did however wake up with a poem in my head. I thought I haven’t shared any poetry for a while so I’ll share that instead…

Does procrastination lead to creativity? Well, I’m not sure, but I do know that I’m not going to feel down about it today.

Life has so many bends, and up’s and down’s. It’s short, too short to be worrying about things. As much a I would love to get rid of my perfectionism, it’s brought me this far.

I’ve always been a little odd and quirky, I’m impulsive and no two days are ever the same. But I’m also really hard on myself…

Being self employed has finally given me the freedom I so desperately desired, but when I self sabotage I kick myself about it over and over again.

In truth I guess, I am rebelling against myself and that seems a little strange doesn’t it?

I would love to go into more depth about self sabotaging but I’m just not ready to yet…

Nobody is perfect, that’s an impossible task. Instead today, I’d ask you to embrace all your flaws and learn to see the silver lining of your actions.

Maybe one day I’ll break the habit of self sabotaging, until then I guess you just have to roll with the punches (even if you’re the one who’s punching yourself).

Besides I enjoy being creative, so if my rebelliousness causes my inspiration, I say bring it on. I can say more with a poem anyway….

Is It Real?

I’ve been to parties and worn strange things.

Out of all the impulsive buy’s I’ve made, this one is my fave…

It’s something I wore once and never again, until now.

A sparkling Venetian mask, just like Juliet in a midsummers day dream.

A sort of tragedy or an unintentional comedy,

Sometimes life can be both and all at once,

Or perhaps we all wear a mask from time to time?

I guess I keep little trinkets of the past because it reminds me

Of the steps I have taken and all those roads I walked,

Life could be an amazing collection of emotions.

All the passion and desire, sipping lovesick potions.

Don’t be hard on yourself, you’re doing the best you can.


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