Submerged in ambition, but moulded by clay.

I’ve been thinking a lot about ambition recently. Business, success and ambition all go hand in hand. I was brought up to be a strong woman, one that was told to reach for the stars.

I was encouraged to be ambitious as well as educated- it’s an important aspect of life, but with these traits, as a female, I find certain things in life a certain double-edged sword. Building lasting relationships is really difficult to do when you’re an ambitious woman.

Can you be an ambitious, career-driven mother and a loving wife?

I certainly see evidence of it everywhere on TV or in magazines, however, it is not something I have personally mastered. To view 5 Ted Talks by ambitious women, click here.

If I build a loving home with a partner- I lose myself. I lose my freedom, my ambition and my drive. If I focus on ambition I seem to lose my relationships.

I stand by what I was taught and believe that ambition is important, but then the other sphere of ambition is of course the loneliness I seem to endure- brought about by ambition.

I am a self-professed loner, I always have been, I enjoy alone time, It’s actually beneficial for you. That doesn’t mean however that I don’t enjoy closeness with others when I find it.

What comes with ambition, is something that people seem to omit or at least do not talk about much. I guess the phrase ‘it’s lonely at the top,’ springs to mind.

Some women make it look so easy, the way they cast ambition off like an expensive coat that no longer fits.

Jenny Offill

As an Aquarius, I am already able to disconnect from my emotions- It’s kind of a superpower, I forget sometimes though that not everyone is like this. I think if you want to chase after success, you have to be like this in a way. Step into your masculine energy and watch the abundance find you.

This ‘masculine’ part of me becomes incredibly focused on what I’m doing, and while this isn’t a bad thing, being career hungry is a choice, after all, I have noticed a consistent pattern emerging in my personal life. The more I seem to succeed and reach for my goals, the more my personal relationships seem to crumble and fall apart- with people often telling me I’m cold.

I’m not intentionally cold, in fact, I don’t think I am at all, but maybe I’ve shifted so much focus to my business recently that I’ve begun to get distracted from those that I love.

I try to love, hard, but I’m also super focused on my plans for the future. I am undoubtedly a future thinker, a creative innovator and a dreamer. Which makes me a little airy and stuck in my head for the most part. I find it hard to enjoy the present.

As a female, I think this makes me seem disconnected and distant. I am supposed to be caring, intuitive and soft.

Feminine Creative Energy

Playfulness, softness and sensitivity, I like to explore my ‘feminine’ energy in my creativity and while I am feeling a little disconnected from others recently, due to ambitious strategies for business growth (it’s going so well), I am also feeling a little lost emotionally, numb almost.

Some questions I felt like exploring today were:

If family life no longer correlates with my ambitions, does it make me cold to want to leave?

Am I cold for wanting more from life?

Should I really be ambitious as a female?

I feel like as women these are questions we have to ask ourselves when embarking on a career path. I don’t think it is the same for men, and honestly, I think careers take a lot of sacrifices.

Smoke and Mirrors

The games that players play,

Never will they stay,

I thought I’d found a friend,

In my darkest hour,

Someone to love me, inside out,

Instead, I found a monster,

Only concerned with power,

Just a starving emptiness,

To mirror my perplexed heart,

Complicated and blue,

Goodbye, old friend,

See, I already knew,

I’ve met a hundred people like you,

Broken and empty,

Happy on the surface they seem,

But underneath,

Just shallow shattered glass,

With icy grasps,

I punched the ceiling,

I walked away,

So that you can receive,

The love that you were trying to steal from me,

No matter how much you ask me to stay,

Know that I’m ambitious,

You can’t tie me down,

I am free and I will stand my ground.

Loneliness is part of the journey. I think that’s when you find yourself and realise truly who you are.

The question I’m asking you today is ‘can you be an ambitious female with loving long-lasting relationships?’ What do you think? Comment below, I’d love to know your opinion…


8 thoughts on “Submerged in ambition, but moulded by clay.

    1. Thanks sweetie. Lush to hear from you Amber as always 😘 have you thought anymore about doing a podcast with me? I’d love to talk about spirituality and healing- or maybe just something philosophical? x

      1. You’re welcome. I’d love to do this with you, I’m experiencing some health issues at the moment but will hold this thought. Feel free to WhatsApp me any ideas. ♥️🙏🏻

  1. I really enjoyed reading this. I was raised to be a strong woman and I feel like it has ruined some of my relationships because I can come off as being “too hard to get”. Being alone is part of the journey to finding yourself and learning to balance it.

    1. Aww thanks for commenting Riyah. I am the same. I think it’s a little intimidating to men. I want to be soft and feminine- but also strong. I can’t seem to find the balance x

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