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Last year, I shared my New Years Resolutions, in a post called I don’t know why you say, Goodbye I say, Hello. I love that song by the Beatles, other than the ridiculous outfits, the whole song seemed to match the ridiculousness of what was going on in England at the time, Christmas was on, and then sadly off and nobody knew whether they were coming or going.
I was unsure what to call this years post, I got the poison, I got the remedy, I got the poison the rhythmical remedy/ I am the Walrus/ Mister City policeman sitting pretty little policemen in a row/ Manic depression is a frustrating mess… were all contenders.
But reading through last years post a year later was kind of amusing, while I completed all my resolutions, the crazy amount of change that has happened in my life since was totally unpredicted. So, I thought I’d do another one this year. I’d love to see if I can achieve them all.
I remember feeling so excited that 2020 was finally going to be over last year, ha! Unfortunately, I was very much mistaken. 2021 wasn’t as frightening and I guess we had more freedom but it still sucked.
As for how much my life changed, it’s kind of shocking to think. The whole year felt like one big tower (tarot) for me at least. Despite there being a similar kind of pandemic doom vibe in the air this December and another lockdown seeming imminent, everything else is different.
At least I’m still blogging and I’m so happy that I am. If I hadn’t started this blog when I did, I think I would have gone mad. (I know I’m bonkers already, don’t worry).
Firstly I’m now engaged to my best friend, yikes! That came out of nowhere. Secondly, I live in a completely different town, house and area. Thirdly, my writing style has developed soo much and as a writer that fills me with joy.
Some things are similar I guess, I still get wildly distracted by music for example, (it gets in the way of my blogging). I still haven’t stopped drinking alcohol, but, I’ve cut down dramatically and I still can’t travel but at least I’m still alive- to walk another year on this planet, whatever madness may head my way. So here are my next year’s resolutions…
You leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust
Filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above
Lyrics by Cigarettes after Sex
Got the music in you baby
Tell me why
You’ve been locked in here forever and you just can’t say goodbye
- Resolution One: Write a Volume of Poetry and send it to a Publishers.
Yeah I’m starting off with something really ambitious this time, but in all honesty, I think I’ve got enough material to write a collection. It shouldn’t take too long, so it’s not as ambitious as it sounds, it’s getting it published that’s the difficult bit. But, it’s something on the bucket list and If I get bumped off by omicron at least I tried.
What I will say, is that while my blog writing has developed this year, my poetry style has completely changed. Gone are the whimsical romanticism style verses from another era and now I write in a modern kind of style, about anything except love.
- Resolution Two: Get Married.
Well, this is one thing I never expected and I’m still a little shocked. I never thought I’d get engaged but there you go. It makes sense, we’re best friends, turned lovers, and the one person who’s had my back during the literal worst year of my adult life. I’ve met someone that makes me laugh more than I ever have and loves to travel. I guess that’s something to hold onto.
I’ve always been impulsive, but, I also know when I know, so once I make a decision I know it’s the right one for me. It would be nice to get married this year, but who knows what pandemic stuff we have in store for 2022?
- Resolution Three: Keep making videos on YouTube.
While this was something I wanted to do last year and I did start it, I didn’t really nail it and I only started recently. I made four videos and stopped. It was definitely challenging, and there is a lot of competition on YouTube which makes it a little daunting.
The main reason though for not doing any more filming was just the emotional turmoil and challenging events that got in the way, so I would like to focus on pushing myself to do more this year. I must gain more confidence on this platform.
I’d also like to start talking about some more topics, maybe starting a channel about blogging was difficult, because it wasn’t what I was passionate about talking about, you know?
- Resolution Four: Stop caring what people think.
So last year was cruel and challenging. I was pushed to my total limit and went through some pretty deep soul healing, and I came out of that, deciding that I wasn’t going to care what people thought about me, my life or my choices anymore. The problem is, I still kind of do if I’m being honest, so I’d like to stop doing that.
As another year has passed, the wisdom I have gained this year has taught me that caring what people think, only creates limitations on your life and what you can do. I want to truly achieve, I must leave those thoughts behind and find the strength to be bold.
- Resolution Five: Get more creative.
This year I have had incredible bouts of creative inspiration, but, I’ve also had such excessive stress that a lot of the time, my creativity has been blocked. I want to practice more meditation and sound healing to practice calming my mind so that I can find my creative flow again. I wouldn’t mind a Tibetan Singing Bowl.
I also want to set time aside twice a month so I can have a day of creativity. I haven’t picked up a paintbrush since I started my blog, cooked much or tried out new ways to express myself.
One of last years resolutions was that I was going to be so focused on my blog, which I was, but it took up so much of my spare time that I let go of the things that I love, so finding more time for creativity this year is a must.
- Resolution six: Give myself more praise.
So without a doubt this year has been toxic for my soul. I’ve lost count of all the bad things that have happened. Next year, I’m going to focus on healing myself and giving myself the praise I deserve for surviving 2021.
I might give myself some treats also, like going to the cinema to watch back to back movies or eating at a restaurant, you know things I haven’t done in what feels like years.
- Resolution Seven: Forgive
So this year has been difficult for everyone. I bet we’ve all done things we regret, got snappy, overreacted and shouted. I guess I need to practice forgiveness so that my soul can heal.
Last year I wrote a post on The Joy of Accepting Others, this year I am giving the gift of forgiveness. If you’ve been shitty to me this year, I forgive you.
Thanks for reading,