As a thirty something female, I’m no stranger to depression. It’s something that catches me off guard when I least expect it and leaves me feeling remarkably drained and unbearably unsatisfied.
As a creative soul I’m also prone to bouts of depression that can range from mild to severe. These bouts can be wildly frustrating. They prohibit you from so much and stop you from being able to create. I’ve written a few posts on this topic, such as how I manage my creativity and love is blind by design.
I’ve also written posts on self-sabotage, self-destruction and even on addiction, but depression is different, chaotic and stifling. It’s all consuming with an agenda to disrupt the daily functioning of your life.
It’s invisible and hidden, often manifesting itself as excuses or not turning up to social events and people often mistake it for laziness or sometimes at its worst, aggression.
Depression can grab you by the hand and pull you down into darkness, not allowing you to come back up for air. It’s dizzying and numbing, leaving you rolling on deep ocean waves of feelings you don’t know how to control, with imprints and fragments of thoughts you’d never think your brain could get to.
Nobody’s shadow is flattering
Depression is a funny thing,
It kicks you down,
When you’re dressed at your best,
It makes you blue,
And not that hungry too,
As life rapidly flashes,
In front of you,
While you stand outside,
In the pouring rain,
Wondering if you’ll ever smile again,
But most of all,
You’re afraid to smile,
Even if it’s just for a while,
Your strength is not measured,
By simply showing up,
And people are always quick to judge,
A hidden agenda of society,
Is to make people feel defeated,
And then seem weak,
But the truth is,
Contrary to popular belief,
It takes more strength,
Then you could believe,
To kick the habit,
And leave those demons,
Where they belong,
Until then I’ll sing sad songs.
Bluer than You
I took some photographs yesterday for the first time in a while, so I thought I’d blog. I woke up with some deep thoughts about depression, so I thought I’d share.
I always think that people can experience depression in many forms. Sometimes, people wear a mask but underneath that, they’re broken and blue…
Depression is serious. If you feel depressed, please get help. Take care of your mental health.
Thanks for reading my post about depression today,
Being blue is beautiful too.